for those who want to read and those who need to read:
of all the words to choose from, i chose abide. here’s why.
throughout the past months, i’ve been struggling with a load of anxiety and doubt. the devil threw in memories of my past to stir up anxiety, fear, doubt and bouts of depression. the devil had me locked in a rollercoaster of emotions i was not prepared for.
as a kid, i grew up watching my mom grow intimate with the Lord. everyday, she’s set aside time to read, pray, or just simply worship the Father. this time grew when her faith weakened. as most of you know, my parents went through a rough patch ending in divorce. my 11-year-old self couldn’t really comprehend why my mother so vigorously worshipped when it seemed God had planned this from the beginning.
as a 17-year-old now, i have figured it out. no one, not even my mom, was exempt from doubt, anger, worry.. etc.
it’s not about what the mountain is, it’s about how you climb it.
you see, for months, i never moved. i tried, but the problem was i allowed satan to persuade me into believing lies about my situation. such as: you’re alone. you’ll never win.
along with these lies, he deceived me into believing i should hide. from family. from friends.
these were all weights, so when i “tried” to climb my mountain, i got no where.
a few weeks ago, i decided that i was not going to believe those lies any longer. i told an adult confidante about it and the Lord spoke through them. since then, i’ve made decisions to take away the world, and add more of Him.
i say all of that to say this:
when i chose to abide, He moved my mountains for me so i wouldn’t have to climb at all. when i surrendered my all rather than little sections, i found true freedom, grace, and joy. He revealed and is revealing Himself daily to me, trading my doubt for truth, anxiety for peace, and depression for joy.
for my mom, He restored her marriage with more love, devotion and pursuit than years before.
choose to abide in our loving Father.
it’s totally worth it.