Hello sweet friends! I’ve come to ask you one question today. Really simple and easy


Why are you holding back from God?

Seems easy enough. Some of you may think, “I’m not at all. I am totally open with the Lord!” and that’s SO wonderful if you are! But then there’s another group of you that are thinking, “I don’t want to go there.”

Whether you’re not sure if you are or if you know you are, this is for you.


March 11, 2017: this is the day it all began.

Winterfest 2017 is always promised to be super hype and super spiritual. God always shows up BIG in that arena. I love it! Every year has always been something new and exciting with God, but all of these encounters being similar- tears, prayer, and answered questions. So, naturally, I was expecting something similar to last year, but this year was different.

I woke up early to go to the church with some of the youth to prepare in prayer for the Winterfest weekend coming up. For a whole week I got up early to do that. At Winterfest, I worshipped, raised my hands, prayed, sang.. I did what I usually do every Sunday and every Winterfest. My heart was in it- not for show, but simply for more of Him. Nothing. I look around to see my friends sobbing, praying for each other, just crying out to their Father. Me? Well.. I was doing the same thing. But no tears, no divine God moments.. just Alex.

That’s when the devil knew it was his prime chance. Looking back, he actually did a fantastic job. Checkmate Alex. I got you now.

My mom would tell me always, through every trial I had been through, “God will never let you down. You can always put your hope in Him.” That was my rock for the longest time. I knew my Father had me.

It was one simple thought that wrecked my entire belief of who God is. “God just let me down.” Yes. I know it seems very little to have rocked my world, but I really needed an encounter from Him.

That became detrimental to my trust, my heart, and ultimately my relationship with Him. If I can’t trust the only constant in my life, who can I trust?

I began to draw back from everyone. I was scared.. and all those feelings of fear and just brokenness flooded me. My system was broken. It’s a scary feeling to watch your rock hard foundation of God begin to erode away in front of your eyes.

I bet the devil has convinced you of something God isn’t too.

He convinced me God was a liar. Maybe he’s convinced you that God has left you in a time you needed Him most. Or maybe that God doesn’t have plans for you. Or maybe even that He doesn’t love you. Your sin is too big for His grace. You’re too much for God.

Don’t believe that mess. Here’s why:

“He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

The only thing the Devil knows how to do is lie, and he has no problem lying to you.

Okay.. pressing play again.

As the months progressed, I found myself struggling with multiple things- one of the biggest things being my resentment towards God. I began to believe the lies of the enemy: thinking that my God had no intentions of protecting, loving, or helping me to fight in my battles. I used to joke about being “bitter”, but it all honesty, that’s exactly what I became. My heart began to harden; my faith began to weaken. I had no strength to fight the enemy, and I had no faith in my Savior.

Through all of that hurt and pain, I never turned to God because I believed that I was praying to a brick wall.

The gist of all of that is this:

When you listen to the enemy, you’re allowing him to speak death over you.

Now.. that’s some heavy mess right there, but it’s 100% true. I allowed the devil to consistently speak into my life until I became full of anger, hurt, and bitterness. And that is ALL he has to offer you.

Fast forward to last month, in my last devotion, I wrote about how God encountered me at the dinner table. I won’t explain it all again but I’ll sum it up. (it’s in busy if you want to read it all)

The Lord spoke through my dad through tongues and interpretation to encounter me in the most serious way I’ve ever been encountered- and this is what He said.

God is not a man that He should lie. All other voices in this world have the capacity to lie. Satan is the father of lies. If he opens his mouth, it is a lie; it is his native tongue. But when I speak, it is not to be doubted, but you can bank on it, and trust in it because the Lord has spoken it. When I speak, it is Truth.”

All of that is straight from Scripture.

Numbers 23:19 & John 8:44

If that doesn’t show you how much He truly loves us, I’m not sure what does. A Holy, Righteous, Almighty God interrupted our family dinner to speak straight to me in a time that I was losing my faith. How awesome is my Father? OUR Father.

But, that wasn’t enough. Why? Because I still let the enemy speak into my life.

It wasn’t until I hit my knees on the church floor that I realized that who I thought God was.. was not Him at all. It took me 4 months to realize that when I allow the enemy to speak, I give him control over my thoughts, and ultimately my heart.

Now, it’s time to start pointing out the lies. It’s time to rebuke the devil. It’s time to answer God’s question to us:

Who do you say I am?

(Mark 16:16-19 if you want a little bit of context) ((HIGHLY RECOMMEND))

It’s not enough to try to ignore the devil.. its not enough to cover your ears and scream. You MUST call out the lies of the enemy, and tell him to be gone in the name of Jesus. And it’s time to start naming some truths about who God is. Sounds really old school but 10/10 will work. I bet my life on it.

“Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil and he will flee.”

James 4:7

“In the name of Jesus” is one the most powerful phrases you can fight the devil with. There is power in the name of Jesus. Always. His word will never return void.

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”

1 John 4:16

Start living like God loves you like crazy.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Psalm 62:7

It’s time to start trusting in our Mighty and Holy God. He is our Rock, our Foundation.

“Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”

Deuteronomy 7:9

He is the God of His word. He doesn’t disappoint. He doesn’t answer with delay. He is faithful.

“I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?”

Jeremiah 32:37

We have one SASSY God. He is not afraid to show His Power because there is no one.. NO ONE like Him.

“When we are weak, He is strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:10

Remember where your strength comes from.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

Eph. 6:10-13

Fight fight fight!! Take up your armor and fight for your life. You are already guaranteed  the victory, but you MUST stand in that victory.

“We are more than conquerors through Him who loves us.”

Romans 8:37

“You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.”

2 Chronicles 20:17

Remember who is fighting your battles. Not only that, but this verse almost has a dual meaning. Judah is not only one of the twelve tribes of Israel, not only is he in the lineage of Jesus, but it means praise.. which means the Lord is calling us TO praise. HE will fight, but WE must praise.


“The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.”

BE STILL. Rest in His presence. Trust God to fight in your stead and stand firm and confident.

There are so many more, but its time that you dig in the word and discover them for yourself; There is so many treasures for you to find.

Resist the devil, let Your Father fight, praise, and be still. And don’t let that puny, sorry ole ugly devil tell you anything about your Strong, Mighty Father. He is much more than you can ever imagine, and He is working for your good. (Jeremiah 29:11)

You are stronger than you think.. (and it just may be that Holy Spirit inside of you).

Be strong in the Lord, friends.

Your fellow warrior (princess),



One thought on “Who do YOU say I am?

  1. Praise God for bringing you back into His light! This was such a beautiful testimony that a lot of people can relate to. I know I’ve had similar experiences in the past but God has always called me home. I’ve been the prodigal daughter more times that I wish to admit, but He’s ALWAYS embraced me with love, grace, and hope. Grateful for fellow believers willing to share their hardest times to better themselves and other believers (and maybe even nonbelievers). God is good. I pray He always continues to fill your soul with joy and truth!

    Liked by 1 person

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