I used to ignore it, the feeling of emptiness. I’d let my schedule sidetrack me from how I truly felt. I pushed away any kind of vulnerability just to have a temporary feeling of protection in my little shell. but I was broken. hopelessly broken. I was scared, tired, and empty on the inside.
insecurity, fear, doubt, shame, guilt, hurt, embarrassment, or blatant sin: no matter what I dealt with,
they all left me empty.
maybe that’s something you struggle with. everywhere you go, you can’t seem to be whole. you look to people and things to fill you up, but you can’t seem to retain any sense of wholeness. maybe you’re like a bag with holes or a bathtub with a drain, as hard as you try to fill up that void, in the end, you’re still empty.
if that’s where you are, I’m with you.
it’s time to start seeking a filling instead of a feeling.
if there is any explanation that is better, this is it:
“we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
He is the only thing constant that we can rely on. when we focus our eyes on God, there is not only a feeling of permanent peace but a filling of wholeness that we can’t find anywhere else.
here’s the deal.
that flesh of yours wants nothing more than to pull you into a situation full of brokenness and loneliness. when you feel empty, your first instinct will not be to run to Abba: it will be to run to your boyfriend, best friend, alcohol, drugs, and to anything that gives you that good feeling. anything that either helps you forget or fills that void for a short amount of time.
here’s the problem.
it only lasts for a couple of hours. everything your flesh tells you to run after is the very thing that will leave you feeling even more empty, broken, and lonely. it’s all temporary affection, satisfaction, and security.
here’s the solution.
die daily and walk with Him.
Galatians 5:24 says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
we must crucify the flesh and surrender our desires to Him. you will find no greater satisfaction than to beeline it to Your Heavenly Father, and I say that with experience.
while all of that holds true, here’s the flip side.
some of you aren’t empty because of a sin issue. this emptiness was caused by loss, depression, and/or insecurity.
in my life, it resembled a broken family, hurricanes of depression, fear, and anxiety, the loss of friends, the loss of a Papa, and (though it seems ideal to some) the loneliness of an only child.
you know my parents’ redemption story. you know my testimony of standing in the victory in my battle with depression, fear, and anxiety. some of you may know about me losing my papa when I was 7, and I’m sure my entire church and school friends know about me having only child syndrome (i’m rolling my eyes right now.)
through all of these things, even when my heart was angry, tired, and afraid, I still ran to my Father. through the loneliest and most empty times in my life, I still chose to seek a filling instead of a feeling.
there was a time where I did seek a feeling; I’m not perfect. I used to be boy CRAZY. luckily, I was like 12 so it really didn’t matter much, but my point is: I still struggled, and I still do. I’m not exempt from the difficulty of killing my flesh, and it’s tough.. boy it’s tough, but I learned that God had a better alternative. A more fulfilling gift.
“He will be our peace.” Micah 5:5
When I was walking in darkness, He was a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105). When I was drowning in fear, He gave me a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). When my heart was hurting from circumstances that were far beyond my reach, He held my hand and pleaded with me to trust Him with all my heart and assured me that He’d be with me wherever I went (Proverbs 3:5, Joshua 1:9).
God does not leave you in your mess.
I’m going to say that again.
God does not leave you in your mess!!!
He is your Comforter, your Peace, your Strength, your Savior, your Father, your Friend, and your Protector. He is everything you need when you need it and when you think you don’t. His promises are true, and He will hold your hand through the craziness (whatever it may look like for you).
One last thing:
you don’t have to leave empty.
He’s holding out His hand right now. Please, for the love of God (literally), take it. Let Him walk you through the ruins, and He will restore your heart and fill you with a cup runneth over filling.
With all my not-so-empty heart,